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What's going on in my life 1999

Here I am at Valley Forge Christian College, I am a senior I been here for 5 1/2 years and have another year to go still. When I first came here I was on fire for God. I came with the mission to be a minister. This has been both the best years of my life and the worst. I feel that I am weary of fighting. I am tired of trying to change the system I am all out of my vision, now I stand by faith waiting for His vision for me. I die daily. I tried to go and do my own thing is the world and I was miserable…. The Only place for me is to be ministering…. Yet I see so much fault in my life. I wait for people to judge me. But like the apostles who else can I go to but Jesus… His grace is what makes me stand.

I go here by faith. I don’t know how many more deaths I will die. I have given my whole life to serve Christ. I have left my vision for His. I have died to the pleasures of the world. I am free yet a servant of the Most High God. My heart is cold my eyes are dry and I know that if I would to cry it would be from the deepest part of my life…of sorrow and new life a cry of being saved yet so close to death. I long for the day when I can say. I have run the race I have fought the fight…and now I am done. When Jesus says well done thy good and faithful servant. I long for the day that when I walk into a room a holy hush falls and the power so strong that people are touched and changed…I long to be in a crowed stadium with thousands…and see them all touched. Healed saved and delivered. My Goal this semester is to die daily to serve Christ. This might include snacks TV music…and just studying…even though I have made some mistakes I still go on